The Chronicles Of…

I’ve attended a couple of work related ‘social’ functions in the past week or two, and they’ve reminded me how awkward a person I can be. I think that I’m usually reasonably competent at engaging in (at least some level of) conversation with people, but generally speaking I find it much more difficult to do so in the context of a mingling event. By ‘mingling’, I’m referring to those parties where there is a large group of people in a room, all spread out into little groups, and you sort of drift between groups trying to fit in.

It’s quite easy if you have a group of people that you know quite well, so you can just speak with them, but if you have a similar level of (non) relationship with virtually everyone in the room, it becomes a lot more complicated. Suddenly you’re forced to wander like some sort of nomad, looking for a familiar/friendly face in the crowd, and then try to sidle inconspicuously into the group without looking too desperate. Working out whether or not to participate in the actual conversation is a social minefield, especially if the topic at hand is one that is either foreign to you, or seems to be particular to the established group of people. Speaking too soon can make you appear even more ignorant or rude than you actually are (which would be quite impressive for me), however hesitating too long can mean missing the chance to actually engage, and being ‘awkwarded’ out of the circle.

The mixed group of familiar and unfamiliar people can be both a blessing and a curse. Either you get introduced to a whole new group of people, or you intrude upon a private conversation and potentially alienate one of the few ‘allies’ you had in the room. At one of the functions this week I sat down near one group and commented to a girl I know vaguely that she looked a bit upset “like you’ve just had a domestic, ha ha”. Turned out she had just finished a telephone argument with her partner and I had hit rather a raw nerve. I left that conversation fairly quickly. [NOTE: this girl usually has a 'sour' face, so seeing her look upset is not particularly unusual. I'm not that stupid.]

The bar can be a place of refuge, as you have a purpose for being there (getting a drink), and there’s usually a constant flow of people to have brief conversations with. The downside to this can be that you end up needing to use the bathroom every few minutes, or else become regrettably intoxicated. I shall leave that last option alone for now, as I’ve fallen prey to it on a number of unfortunate occasions. (Sorry)

On the whole, ‘proper sit down’ events are slightly easier because they take a great deal of the pressure off you in terms of choosing your conversational partners, and if in doubt you can just concentrate on eating your meal and occasionally commenting on it’s quality/quantity. Of course, if you get grouped with a group of people who have a pre-existing tight relationship you’ll end up eating silently and ignored all night. If you get grouped with the inevitable ‘weird’ table, then you’ll know what the host feels about you, and you’ll probably wish you could be silent and ignored.

I’m sure most people aren’t as neurotic as I am, and just enjoy themselves, but spending time alone at these events has given me plenty of time to think about them. The modern smartphone can be a great asset if you can’t leave, or else (as I did this week) you can always pretend you’re going to check the parking meter and sneak home after an hour or two.

My first impressions?

A fairly impressive experience.

To elaborate, I think I’ve been fairly well prepared. As usual for me, I haven’t had a ‘Eureka moment’, so much as a gradual acceptance and growth. I realise it’s (very) early days, but I think we’re balancing things as well as possible so far. Sleep is reduced, but I’m a shift worker, so I’m basically used that that already. I need to think about the welfare of someone other than myself, but I’d like to think that I’ve been attempting to grow in that discipline for a little while now (hopefully I’ve progressed slightly over the past decade).

The birth went reasonably well as far as such things go. The only details I’m willing to share on the internet are the soundtrack (Sigur Ros; Elbow; Mumford & Sons) and the fact that my wife was brave/foolhardy enough to forego the use of any painkilling drugs throughout the process. I was able to be as involved as I was allowed to be, and had very much a ‘front-row’ position. In terms of how I coped, I’m sticking with the phrase “strong stomach” instead of the possible alternatives (“emotionally dead”/”serial-killer-in-the-making” etc).

My son (who is apparently fond of the music of Muddy Waters) is currently in hospital being given a fake tan (I assume that was the purpose of the giant lamp over his bed), but apart from that is remarkably healthy. For that, and for many other things, I am incredibly grateful to the Lord Jesus Christ. I am sincere about that, despite the phrase being sullied by awards ceremonies and footballers on a regular basis. At least Kanye didn’t interrupt proceedings at any stage to suggest that a different child should have been born.

Since I turned 18 I have participated in democracy quite a number of times. As of this weekend, I still have not accepted a single “how to vote” card from any of the people outside the polling venues.

You’re welcome.

I went to see Ed Vedder’s solo show at the State Theatre tonight. As I expected, he was fantastic. Crowd were fairly enthusiastic, although there were a few pockets of loud (drunk?) idiots who couldn’t stop yelling for most of the night. One female bogan even tried to get an “Aussie Aussie Aussie” chant going. Thankfully only one moron returned the “Oi Oi Oi”, and she didn’t try again. Phew.

Highlights for me were Porch, Immortality, Dead Man, Golden State and Hard Sun.There was also a brilliant new version of ‘Better Man’ that was quite difficult to pick at first. Completely new melody and rhythm to freshen up a familiar song.

Only got one photo (during the final encore [featuring Jimmy Barnes' daughter, who was one half of the support act]) as the venue staff were very attentive to enforcing their ‘no photography’ rule in the section we were seated in. Posted on Twitter as per Dicker’s request.

Right, I’m off to bed. Not too much tinnitus this evening for once.

So we’re hoping to get a new house soon.
If by soon, you mean some time in the next couple of years. We hope.
Our architect (the father-in-law) says we’ll be moved in by Christmas. I’m less optimistic and assume it’ll be mid 2012.
Either way, we got emailed some (final?) plans this morning and I’m almost allowing myself to get excited…believing it might actually happen…

The project involves us selling our unit (pretty much done); some friends selling their unit (hopefully soon); us purchasing a lovely corner block property (pretty much done); renovating the existing house, so that our friends can move into it (nowhere near done); us building a new house on the back of the property and having our own little street frontage with shared backyard/vegetable gardens/BBQ area etc (waaaay down the track). It’s a vague attempt at living in long term community with close friends from church. Letting kids grow up together and seeing if we can all ‘play nice’ and share resources. A sort of middle-class commune.

In the meantime we’ll become wandering gypsies, roaming the southern suburbs of Sydney between temporary housing, until the property is ready. Hopefully this won’t end up all post-apocalyptic and we don’t have to fight any marauding gangs while we’re ‘on the road’.

…I just couldn’t be bothered – does that count as an excuse?

Life is fairly busy right now for me. Loads of family related stuff happening; we’re trying to sell our place; potentially buy/build a new place; find a place to live in the interim 12 (or so) months that will take; work is fairly full on; and I’ve been a bit unwell also (although I think the unwell thing is just a symptom of all the other stuff going on, which has limited my sleep… never a good recipe). I’ve been trying to keep my physical activity up (running etc), but even that has been intermittent.

In any case, Twitter/Facebook have been the limit of my online activity – which appears to be more than the other guys have been doing! Obviously our lives are all going through a hectic patch.

A side-effect of all this rushing about has been that my ‘matters of faith’ have certainly suffered. My work roster has meant I haven’t been to church in weeks, and I haven’t really made up for that anywhere else. When I should be relying on Christ, I’m actually wandering off looking for my own big pile of resources that are “certain to get me through this rough patch”. The results have been fairly predictable: I’m short tempered; constantly tired (sleeping poorly); highly stressed; and generally fairly unpleasant to be around.

I know some of the tools and strategies that would correct (at least some of) this behaviour, but being told what to do just makes me more irritable.

Ok, enough whining from me. If you’re the praying type, I’d appreciate a few moments of your attention. If you’re the ‘giving advice’ type, I’d appreciate you saving it up for a moment when I’m less likely to snap.

I’m confused and annoyed.

We’re about to have a Federal election, and I honestly have no idea who to vote for. Both of the major parties are fairly disappointing to say the least, and the smaller parties have been getting on my nerves for a while now as well. I don’t want to make some statement like “all pollies are liars, so what does it matter who you vote for anyway”, but at the moment I feel a bit like that.

Labor started out so strong in 2007, and I actually felt like there was a bit of hope after the Evil Empire had been defeated. But how was I to know that we were actually only at a bit of an ‘Empire Strikes Back’ moment, where everything was about to come crashing down, and all that good work was being undone by internal conflict? I should have guessed, I suppose. The Unions were never going to stand for being shoved back into the industrial realm, and then we had Kev backpedalling on climate change, and the Peter Garrett roof insulation fiasco.

…and then we got our first female PM! Which was exciting, even if she wasn’t a smooth media (“moooodia?”) type. I’m all for substance over style, policies over personality, and statements over soundbytes, but you have to admit she’s a bit embarrassing. I mean, I suppose she’s representing a large portion of our community (tuck shop ladies in outer suburban primary schools?), but on the international stage..? Kev could speak Chinese (although sometimes it was just as hard to understand him when he spoke English), so at least he had something to work with when it came to regional powerhouses. I’m just worried that on her first overseas trip to somewhere in Asia, the local government will mistake her for that other red-headed female of Australian politics over the last few years, and think that we’ve finally voted in One Nation. We’ll be at war before she gets out of the airport.

And then we’ve got big Tony over on the other side of the fence. By all accounts (in last weekend’s Herald), he’s quite a nice bloke in person, and has friends from all sides of politics. But again, I’m not certain that I want him representing me. So far he seems to be doing his best to start up “The Australian John Howard Show” tribute act, which might be popular in some circles, but doesn’t fill me with confidence. The man lied repeatedly about fairly significant issues, and used those lies to build fear which in turn won elections (yay Australia!). I don’t want to vote Liberal just to ‘punish Labor’, if it means we get three more years of the Howard legacy.

The Greens seem to have a few things going well for them, but they’re not going to actually win, and giving them more seats will just mean Bob Brown gets even more smug. If smugness was radioactive, no one would ever be able to go to Tasmania again without all their hair falling out. Bob Brown has a halflife of about 200,000 years. It’s gotten to the point where I just cannot listen to him without screaming abuse at the radio/tv/internet. It wouldn’t matter if he was promising to give me bags of cash if I could just agree with him that the sky is blue, I would have to disagree out of sheer stubbornness. Which I recognise is why I’m also a massive hypocrite, and should never nominate for public office.

The Democrats were going to “keep the bastards honest”, then had the world’s most public domestic and killed each other off before they actually achieved very much at all. Thanks folks. At least Natasha Stott Despoja wore Doc Martin boots in parliament. That showed ‘em.

In any case, I live in a safe Liberal seat, so it’s not like my vote is going to actually mean all that much. I just like the idea that I’m participating in a genuinely important act by voting. Maybe I should just vote for one of the ‘little guys’, like the “Three Day Weekend Party”. That way I could be certain that some public funds would end up in the hands of a person who doesn’t really take the whole process too seriously… oh wait, hang on…

Why can’t we just have independant candidates, who say what they actually mean, and who genuinely want to help their nation, rather than set themselves up for a great superannuation plan? Is that really too much to ask? Really?

I keep catching myself muttering “world cup, world cup”. Brilliantly catchy.

You’re that guy… Who waits until just after Council Cleanup day, and then puts a load of rubbish out on the street, which you just know is going to stay there for months, because there’s no way the garbage collectors will pick that lot up.