The Chronicles Of…

We love the house we’re renting. But our house has been invaded by mold… airborne spores of mold drifting through the air and forming new colonies around our entire place… It’s like something out of Aliens. And it’s just appearing everywhere…

I came home from my early morning bike ride today and could see all the mold forming on the tiles in the bathroom while I was having a shower, but not just the tiles… on the toilet cistern, the door, the window frames, EVERYWHERE! I flipped out and I declared war on mold. I grabbed a chux and just started scrubbing the bathroom while I was having a shower, but then the mold went out into the hallway, and then to the laundry, and then to the kitchen… next thing you know I had gone out of the shower and and into the kitchen scrubbing mold off the walls… in the nude… How did this happen?

This is not some fungo-erotic fetish here… I don’t make a habit of cleaning in the nude, but this mold has got inside my head… making me do crazy things… It might even be a alien mold that has started to infect my mind…

But the war is not over. The mold must go.

Now I get what Leviticus 14:33-53 is all about. I used to think that tearing down a house because it had mold was a little bit drastic, but I mean, if you cant clean this stuff, it just takes over… it’s got to go…

I think I want to organise a Leviticus 14 mold party… We can all get together and kill this thing! And if we can’t kill it… well… you know… this is a rental, but I’m sure the landlord will understand why his house disappeared.

So who’s with me?! Want to open a can of woop ass on some mold?! You know you do (it’s not that we’re too lazy to clean our own house… it’s just that this is military scale, this is big… and I’m not too proud to ask for backup).