The first few days…
…have been long.
Lots of lectures, and plenty of ‘inspirational’ talks that usually involve the words “…and if you aren’t prepared for that, then you may as well go home now…”. Very helpful, I’m sure. Having said that, a number of the instructors are very good, and seem to genuinely want us to pass. They provide the necessary resources and give us helpful feedback which allows us to make progress as we learn. Some, however, appear to see us students as getting in the way of their ‘real work’ (whatever that is).
I’m fairly nervous about certain aspects, mainly the physical components, based on my previous non-successes as an ‘athlete’. For some reason no matter how often I tell myself (or am told by others) that I’m improving, and will continue to do so as long as I work hard at it, I am often caught thinking the absolute worst of myself, which in turn affects my performance. I think it’s a case of “I believe, help me to overcome my unbelief.”
My appetite has gone through the roof (so to speak), and I’m eating huge meals three times a day. I’m doing plenty of exercise though, so hopefully I won’t turn into Jabba the Hutt any time soon. I’m also finding that I’m absolutely exhausted by the end of each day. We get up pretty early, so I’m seriously contemplating bed by about 8:30 each evening. Tonight I thought I’d sneak in a quick blog after dinner(although the internet connection is very dodgy – it’s taken me quite a number of redials to get this far), before I do some study for an hour or two. I want to stay ahead of the pack in terms of my readings, and I think it’ll help me to feel more confident overall. I just have to be careful not to become too absorbed in the course, and lose perspective on what’s really important in life.
There are some pretty good guys down here, and a few of us who did the first sessions by correspondence have managed to get accommodation in the same area. We each have a little cabin with a private bathroom, desk, wardrobe, fridge, and bed. I bought a kettle, so my tea addiction will be well indulged. We’re pretty lucky, as most people are in ‘dorm towers’, which aren’t as private (shared bathrooms etc). We’ve been trying to make a point of looking out for each other, which is really helpful. So far we haven’t met too many of the rest of the class, but hopefully that will come in time.
It’s really cold here, and I’m told it gets MUCH colder than this over the next few months. We’ve been given permission to wear gloves in the mornings, as long as they look ‘professional’, so I might be doing some shopping on the weekend. We’re very fortunate that we’re allowed to make ourselves so comfortable, as I’m sure in years past they weren’t so accommodating.
OK, enough from me. I should do some reading before I fall into bed.
May 12th, 2009 at 10:51 pm
Hey Pete, good to hear from you, glad to see you have a kettle, tea would be essential in such cold weather no doubt. I watched the first 2 episodes of the recruit and have a sense that you have many attributes in your favour that others are missing! Am I allowed too allude to where you are and what you are doing? Anyway the show has shown footage of your local ‘town’ and it has been really good to be able to visualise where you are and stuff… I love the idea of you being trained in this, hope the reality goes well in the coming week, we have every confidence in God that he will use this for your good, and the good of many others!
May 12th, 2009 at 10:58 pm
Thanks for sharing this Pete. Must be a completely different world!!
Don’t forget to get your help from the one who’s throne is in heaven!
May 13th, 2009 at 12:35 am
ten four big daddy. roger that.
You want i should ah… make you some soup like? for the cold winter nights?
Do you have a microwave?
You’re going to be a tank when you get back aren’t you…? i know it.
May 13th, 2009 at 7:55 pm
AARRGHHGHG
Just wrote a huge long comment, and the internet dropped out, losing the whole thing!
May 13th, 2009 at 8:21 pm
OK, I’m not sure how much I can be bothered typing again, but here’s the main jist:
I’m happy to write about what’s happening, but don’t want to mention the name of the organisation here, so it won’t show up in any search engines… does that make sense? They’re fairly paranoid about ‘bad publicity’, and a few people have posted some fairly innappropriate things on Facebook etc that have made the staff a bit wary of the whole ‘interweb’.
No microwaves or toasters allowed in rooms, so I’m making do with my kettle. I’ve got some pot noodle thingys, and some biscuits in case I get hungry, but the food is mostly not as bad as everyone makes out. On the weekends it’s a bit sketchy, as they use up all of the week’s leftovers, but apart from that it’s not too bad considering how many people they’re cooking for.
It’s really cold, and I’m going to bring a thicker doona down next week. I slept with the heater on, but when I do that I wake up feeling a bit seedy.
There are a lot of rumours flying about the place on every topic under the sun. It’s hard to know what’s accurate, even when it comes from staff. We’re constantly told information that contradicts what we’ve already been told, so mostly you just have to ride it out and wait to see what happens. Communication is terrible between different departments, and we’re often left waiting for long periods of time while no one seems to know what’s going on.
There’s a bit of resentment from some of the students who studied here full time towards us distance education people. Luckily there are quite a lot of us this session, so we’re able to look after ourselves reasonably well, but the level of immaturity is incredible. One small group of guys have decided that they don’t want anyone else using the common room in ‘their’ accommodation tower, and instead of discussing it with us, have made up little notices to stick on the doors letting us know that we aren’t to enter. Their whole issue is that a few of us guys from the cabins went in to watch TV for a couple of hours on Monday and Tuesday evenings. That’s all. We didn’t kick them out or anything, and when they saw us there they didn’t complain. They just went straight to writing nasty letters. Ridiculous, isn’t it? These are the potential ‘protectors of society’…
There’s very little trust here, as I mentioned with all the rumours floating about. We’ve been told by a number of sources (some potentially reliable) that anything you say to a counsellor or even the chaplain can be added to your official file. I would dismiss that as ridiculous, except for a few things I’ve seen and heard. I’m grateful for the other distance ed guys who are here, and we’ve managed to form a nice little ‘tribe’ for when things get all ‘Lord of the Flies’ every now and then.
I appreciate any and all prayers of support – I truly need them if I’m to get through the next few months. There are a few stumbling blocks here that have me worried, and my nerves are a little frayed at times. I’m trying to tell myself that if things don’t work out there’ll be something else for me, but it’s hard to believe that sometimes.
May 13th, 2009 at 11:25 pm
For whatever reason, it makes me want to swear, and then haul arse down there to tell those dickheads to get off their bike…
Maybe I’m just angry that you don’t have a toaster or a microwave…
May 13th, 2009 at 11:30 pm
Here’s a shot: It’s not like you’re being punished or anything, but you mind find your situation similar to that of the Israelites in captivity in a foreign and disagreeable place like Babylon… so you might identify with these words and recieve some encouragement from these words…
Jeremiah 29
I guess I’m thinking of verses 4-14 particularly…
May 14th, 2009 at 7:28 am
Thanks for the outrage and encouragement.
Will see how today goes, but to be honest am really looking forward to coming home on Friday afternoon for the weekend.
May 15th, 2009 at 5:15 pm
I just finished the hardest physical workout I’ve ever done… it was my first official PT class.
They said that it would get harder next week, so I just pooed my pants slightly. I got through it alive, but wheezing. If we fail to complete a class 3 times across the session we fail overall, so I have good motivation to keep getting through.
Every morning next week my class is on flag duties. I have no idea what that involves except for the fact we have to be at the security office by 6:30am, and have already finished breakfast/shower etc by that time. Tuesday – Friday I have firearms lessons from then until lunch, which is quite exciting. The afternoons will be all the academic classes (law etc).
I’m typing this now, because I don’t want to get in the car while I’m still out of breath. Keen to get home and watch some West Wing though… Dinner tonight, anyone?
May 22nd, 2009 at 8:23 am
This week has felt a little bit better. I think I’m adapting to it all, albeit very slowly.
The cliques are still there, but our ‘tribe’ is doing well. A few of the ‘others’ are even being vaguely pleasant at times. Not very often though.
PT is quite challenging, and firearms is both exciting and terrifying all at once. I’m s l o w l y getting my head around all of the drill commands, but this morning forgot one altogether. Not TOO many people noticed though.
This afternoon can’t come soon enough, very excited to be on my way home for the weekend. A decent coffee, some avocado on toast, and a warm lounge will be much appreciated. I have to do some homework, but even that can’t bring me down… too far…
May 22nd, 2009 at 4:55 pm
PT ended up being just a gym session today, nice and easy. That’s the benefit of being at the end of the week – the staff are too tired to do much. The early classes today got smashed.
About to hit the road now. It’s wet, so I’ll be taking it easy. Probably a cheeky Maccas stop on the way…
May 25th, 2009 at 10:04 pm
We just got back from the common room, watching ‘that show’. We all laugh, then spend a few minutes talking about the fact that the people who made it through the show have ruined it for the rest of us.
If they can make it, then we have no excuse for failure. If something happens and we don’t make it, we’ll be mocked mercilessly for the rest of our lives. Talk about pressure.
Trying to get some homework done, but feeling like an early night instead. Must resist. At least I’m not on flags this week, so I have a bit of a later start.
Off to write an interview plan and a bunch of notebook statements.